Heioka

Coniunctio II

I used to think I was an extra in other people's destinies. 

I wasn't a part of it, yet I always left a piece of myself. 

Like an unforgettable nomad, plucking withered roses from people's gardens so they could plant new ones, I spent the rest of my days watching from afar as they grew red and beautiful. But I was no longer there to smell them or touch them.

 

After preparing the soil and uprooting the withered roses, they had beautiful ones, even though they had passed through the emptiness of the soil and were waiting for germination. 

However, now that they had such beautiful flowers, they no longer needed me so that I would leave. 

But I think I got tired; I guess I had no more strength to cultivate any garden, including my own. I spent so much time doing this that only much later did I realize that my roses were withered. 

Finally, I pulled out one by one of those that remained and planted them in other gardens, thus losing all my pieces.

In infertile soil, without rain, without sun. However, I had one last seed; if I knew how to plant it, I could start again.

But I needed help; I had lost the ability to start. So, I went to make peace with God. 

Arriving there, I asked Him to take me or teach me how to plant this last seed.

However, He gave me something else; He gave me a magical eye drop and an extra eye. And I needed nothing else to break the dormancy of my seed.

As I was immersed in gratitude, bidding farewell, I spoke: 'God, why did I lose my pieces? I don't want to lose them again.

' Then He said:

'I gave you a gift when you were born, but you didn't learn to use it, but don't worry, the magic eye drop will help you. 

You only need five drops, so learn the lessons, practice them, and teach them. Remember that earthly life is brief, and your true purpose isn't in having; your purpose is to be.

' I returned here still dazed by everything but realized I was whole again. 

With a child's happiness, seeing beauty in simplicity, and eternal gratitude for being reborn, however, my world had become a blank paper, a blank paper in the middle of an unfinished book, complete of pages written behind and empty pages ahead. But I don't want to read this book anymore; I'm tired of this story. I'm going to create another. 

This new story will be in the same book as the old one, but they will undoubtedly be very different. However, this book will have two pages: 1.

When I started to see and see even better, I understood what I am, why I am, and what I am doing here. Since then, I understood why I rarely got a main character role and yet had an innate ability to spread page ones around.

I don't read minds, but I read hearts. 

Heioka... Will it also be another coincidence? One of those I don't believe in.

I also know I'm good at reading hearts but not always at translating them into the language of the mind. With this almost color-blind translation, we can't always trust the results. 

But none of this matters because now, besides having my roses and my pieces back, I have a magical eye drop and an extra eye, and I also managed to see what God had given me when I was born. What, when immersed in deep ignorance, I considered a curse. 

So today, instead of feeling cursed, I feel fortunate.

I'm seeing everything from here, feeling what you feel, your sadness, your joy, your love. 

And when I was finally free from the ignorance of the mind and the prison of the ego, with this same eye, I could see my yang, my flame, the other part of my soul.

Why did I know? I know things. 

I also don't fear losing something that has always been a part of me. And no matter how hard you try, you can't forget me because I also carry part of your soul with me. 

However, I have learned that I cannot speak what I see through what I feel around me. One should only show the moon to the moonwalkers, as only they will understand it.

Only much later, I understand that not everyone can read hearts. 

And it saddens me to see so many beautiful hearts that feel ugly because they haven't seen themselves yet.

And even if your name was the first song sung by God here, still, you can't hear the song... 

So I keep singing for you to listen and praying for you to be able to open the door, but you don't want to come out here; there's too much danger out there, you say. 

And then, locked in the safety from the inside, you'll never be able to see the light. 

Come on! Show your real strength, the one that lives in your vulnerability. The one I feel from here, I see from here. 

Come on, make your Anahata vibrate, spin, and fill with light, and then you will understand everything I say. In the end, you won't need to suffer from the inconsistency, nor will you remain inert to this uncomfortable and empty protection offered by the escape you seek. 

Strangely, this was the first time I saw a mirror reflect mine. Now the sunlight entering this cave is so strong that, reflecting in our mirrors, momentarily blinded us. 

You found your strength in the ego, and I lost mine when, upon seeing your heart, I undervalued reason and disregarded translation. 

But as soon as I understood why I lost it, I regained it.

It was so difficult to start the first sentence of this page one; I didn't know how to start. 

But only now do I understand why I feel what I feel, and then the peace of synchronicity between emotions and reason reigns. 

I found the other part of me that was lost and then started writing in this book again. 

Then I discovered that yes, I was born to distribute page ones around, but there were also all those other pages from the middle to the end that were missing and now are no longer missing. 

And finally, I discovered my mission. When I said I wanted to change the world but was aware that I would have to start with myself. I meant it.

But if you think all this is madness, ' judging me for dancing just because you can't hear the music yet.' Be aware that madness has compassion for sanity.

Furthermore, it is very peaceful and serene and lives next to God's house. 

Thiara Màtos.